I had to admit to myself that I needed help and I’m glad I signed up for this program. Andrew and Alex are super experienced coaches and they have gathered and combined interdisciplinary knowledge and techniques that make the program very unique. I really don’t think there’s anything like it out there today.
We just finished the 10-day bootcamp in NYC a couple of weeks ago and I have to say that I was blown away by the whole experience. I’m not sure how the previous 10-day’s were as we just went through an overhauled version of it, but in in a nutshell, I’d say this is really an “inner game” bootcamp. It improves our “game” by identifying current personal traits and behaviors that are getting in our way to succeed with women – and which usually extend to other areas of our life. This is done by building trust with the group, and within ourselves, to dig up past impactful (even traumatic) experiences and then using techniques to help us heal and move on. In that way, I’d say the 10-day is not really about game, it’s about emotional healing and personal self improvement. This healing process opens the door to finally start working on our limiting beliefs and allows us to get a different outlook on the way we relate to people in general, and especially to women. After having gone through it, we can finally get a glimpse of inner peace and the motivation to start taking risks and adopting new behaviors with women.
The program is generic as what I described above could apply to everyone, but it’s also personalized as each participant has his own demons to face. Each person is there to work on his own issues, but at the same time to listen and provide support for the rest. The relationship within the group becomes really tight and by sharing our stories and problems, we gradually realize that we’re all humans, that we all have problems and that we’re all fucked up in different ways, so it makes sense to go through it together and support each other.
This realization of “humanity”, which was experienced more strongly after certain meditation exercises, was one of the main lessons of the bootcamp for me as it extends beyond connections with peers and friends, to women and people in general. Everyone, even a successful doctor, the CEO of a corporation, or a victoria secret model, has problems and feels distress just as we do. We’re all going through the same stuff as humans, so we might as well help each other out and collaborate in building connections and relationships that will help us thrive. That mindshift alone, is helping me overcome social anxiety and think about new patterns of communication with people.
The general mindshift acquired (at least temporarily) after the program is kind of abstract and difficult to explain, so here’s a specific point that illustrates how this change of mindset changed the perspective of “The Game” for me.
Overcoming Approach Anxiety and Trying New Behaviors:
I did a couple of 3-day bootcamps before, and even though I learned a lot, I could never get over my approach anxiety mainly because every time we went out to practice, each approach always felt like I was being sent into a suicide mission and even if the lesson was to realize that I wasn’t gonna literally die from being rejected, the emotional distress was so strong that thinking I had to go through it hundreds of times until I could get desensitized, made me lose motivation and fall back into the same old behavioral patterns shortly after the bootcamp and never really try the “material” again. And it’s even harder to practice when you don’t have a wingman or people in the community to go practice with.
I’m aware there are countless stories of people who have gotten over their fear of approaching this way, so this might work for you if you have enough willpower and time to push through it, but just be aware that willpower can only take you so far and after a while you might get to a point of burn out and just give up, which is what’s happened to me and lots of people I’ve talked to as well. In my case, I felt like I was playing a painful game of distress and sacrifice so the good interactions I had weren’t enough to keep me motivated.
What changed in the 10-day is that most of the “right-attitude” concepts that are prerequisites to make the game fun and keep motivation, went from being just intellectual concepts to being internally understood, felt and assimilated. For instance, things like:
– “Go out to have fun, not to pick up chicks”
– “Focus on the process (practice, enjoy the interactions), not on the outcome (pick up chicks, get laid)”
– “Don’t make it personal”
– “Get out of your head”
– “Get into state”
– “Believe you can get the girl”
– “Be more masculine”
– “Be confident”
– … etc
I had “learned” these kind of things before, but as with many classroom teachings, they always remained theoretical concepts that I knew made sense and I had to apply, but could never actually do it when I was in the heat of approaching and all my current emotional circuitry got activated and most times I just froze or acted weirdly. The 10-day approach is to go from an intellectual teaching to a more experiential one. So by mixing a bit of “outer game” teachings with diverse breathing and meditation techniques during the seminar, I could start to feel and experience how it is like, for example, to “get out of my head”. I could never get out of my head by forcing my way out of it (yet, that’s what I kept doing), but I finally did it by experiencing how it felt to be in my body and then I could practice how to do it when we went clubbing.
This is what changed everything for me… I went out with my new feelings and energy felt in the “classroom” and talked to random people, got into state, had fun, tried being more sexual, etc. So for the first time I woke up the day after with a feeling of hope and motivation because I learned/realized that this new approach to the game is not about winning or losing, it’s about going for the ride and having fun with myself, it’s about building a fun vibe and connecting with people. Suddenly, that night I wasn’t afraid to talk to girls and take some risks anymore.
It just felt right to approach and to “be more masculine” so I found myself doing it. Reproducing this kind of feelings/state/vibe is not easy, as some of us found out during one or more nights when things just didn’t “click” the same way, and I’m aware that lots of practice is required to get good at it, but the difference is that now “the game” is something that can be enjoyable instead of painful, so now I’m actually eager to go out and practice. And I can even do it while going out with my friends, because I won’t be practicing openers and routines, I’ll be practicing new feelings and a new mindset that will allow me to intentionally try new behaviors. Now I wanna play the game and I know that with practice I can be good at it.
Besides, the new experience of “humanity” mentioned above, when finally felt and understood, gave me the confidence to talk to people (and specially to hot girls) because why wouldn’t I?… At the end of the day we’re all human with problems and we’re here to connect. Looking at it that way, it’s almost silly not to approach people/women.
This is the kind of mindshift that sounds simple, but it’s really not. it’s the kind of thing that you can only (or at least more easily) experience with the right coaches and the right methodology. That’s why the exercises done in the program are a mix of coaching, psychology, therapy, meditation and other techniques that go into the more energetic, spiritual and sometimes mystical realms. That’s what bypasses your mind and your intellect and gets you to feel and experience the teachings.
If you’re thinking about going through this program, you gotta be comfortable with this kind of stuff, or at least be open to try them and trust the coaches and your group of peers. My take is that some of this things can’t be explained by modern science, but they exist, and they work, and right now I’m into trying what works. You unfortunately won’t know what I’m talking about until you get to actually experience them, for example if you’re into meditation or have tried an spiritual drug like Yaje/Ayahuasca – which btw, are topics that are normal to talk about in the environment of the 10-day.
I think the program is not for everyone as it’s not cheap and the techniques used are a bit out there, but I really recommend you guys seriously consider doing it if:
– You have a hard case of low self-esteem or limiting beliefs that stop you from meeting and connecting with people/women.
– You have been carrying an emotional wound for a while that’s blocking your progress as a person.
– You’re over thirty years old and unsatisfied with your situation when it comes to women.
– You’ve already tried different “pick up” methods/programs for a while, but nothing has changed in a tangible way.
– You’re too much of a rational/intellectual “thinker” and have a hard time being a “doer” and taking action.
– Pick-up/love/intimacy is an area of your life in which the problems are so pervasive, that it overshadows your whole life.
To be honest, I never thought I’d need a program like this one, mainly because deep down I always fooled myself into thinking I was OK (Great job and social life) and into thinking I could get good with women by myself, so why would I spend so much money on a bootcamp?… The truth is that I had always been doing the same thing and therefore getting the same results, so I’ve been constantly dissatisfied in this area of my life. I had to admit to myself that I needed help and I’m glad I signed up for this program. Andrew and Alex are super experienced coaches and they have gathered and combined interdisciplinary knowledge and techniques that make the program very unique. I really don’t think there’s anything like it out there today.