This was a life changing experience and I would do it again in a heartbeat. I am extremely grateful to all the instructors and also to the other students.
The 10 Day in New York City was a life CHANGING experience. If you are a single man or even in a relationship that you want to build on and/or improve and you want to get more overall fulfillment out of life, this program will give you a wake-up call to life.
The instructors have dedicated their life to helping men get more out of life overall and to improve their life with women. The instructors all really care about each student and are committed to helping each student get the most out of the program.
I showed up the first day of the 10 Day Bootcamp expecting to be focusing entirely on improving my life with women. I soon found out, this bootcamp was about way more than just the women. It is about getting more fulfillment out of all of life.
Most men would think this review would talk a lot about what I learned in regards what to say and do while interacting with women. For me this was more of an emotional or spiritual awakening for how to take more control of my WHOLE life.
The following are huge things that I am taking away from this program:
I want to get to a place where I care WAY LESS about the outcome of pretty much everything in life, but especially the women aspect.
Over the course of my life, I have told myself particular stories of why I have not had the dating life that I have desired. I have also created negative stories regarding important people in my life. A particular portion of these stories I have told myself is making a generalization about how people act and then pushing that onto them. When I look deeper into this, I am faced with just the humanity of every person and that everybody is innocent. I am responsible for letting go of all these negative stories that I have told myself.
There is lots of information out there that says in order to have a different life, you have to be a completely different person. I was relieved when we were told that we do not necessarily need to change who we are at our core. We just need to unlock who we really are at our core. When I heard this, I was like “Fuck Ya.” I do believe there is greatness in me (in all of us). I have just allowed that greatness to be covered up by a bunch of shit. This program helped me shovel away a lot of the shit.
When Andrew told us within the first hour that his mission was to help people heal, I knew I was in the right place. I actually started to tear up at that.
There is a core principle that everything that I do in life is because I choose to do it.
TRUST: The only way that I would get the most benefit out of this program was to totally let go and trust the instructors.
In order to get to the place the instructors were trying to take me, I needed to: be able to break free and stop caring so damn much; feel alive and not look at this as a “job” or something I have to go out and conquer; break free from the system.
Trust and survival: Everything in life comes down to this. Our environment causes us to be and act a certain way. By continuing to stay in the same environment, connections are made in our brain that cause us to continue to BE and act a certain way.
Safety and Significance: The mind tries to do both keep us safe and it strives for significance. Most of my life is driven by significance and trying to be successful. Our minds are hard wired to keep us safe. While my mind may be trying to keep me safe, it is actually keeping me from being free.
The two energies of Conquest and Surrender. During the bootcamp, I realized just how far into conquest I have fallen. I came to realize how much this attitude is hurting me in all of life. If I would surrender, I could be relaxed, limitless, free, non-judgemental. That would be amazing.
The concept of just BEING and not trying to accomplish anything. If I would allow myself to just “BE”, I would get everything that I am looking for. This definitely applies to my WHOLE life. There is no right and wrong. There is only awareness.
All of these things that we all face (trust, safety, significance, conquest, surrender) have been hard wired into us humans for millions of years. So, no wonder it is challenging to overcome the hurdles.
I have always based my self-worth on my success in life, including success with women. This causes me to “want something from the women that I interact with”. If I would just approach it as I am just going to go say “hello” to this girl and see what happens, I would not take the rejection so personally.
This journey is a place that is very attainable. The journey will get me to a place where: I am more fulfilled; I can separate from my mind; I can develop a stronger relationship with my mind; I am just being.
Masculinity – Ok to show emotions. Be confident in who I am. Being in the moment and present and just letting things BE is very masculine. Masculinity is already in me. When I demonstrate my masculinity and a woman expresses her femininity, sparks will fly.
The instructors introduced us to a very intense breathing exercise designed to help get us out of our head and more into our body. Around the second or third day of doing these breathing exercises, I had a very intense emotional experience and just broke down in tears. During the breathing exercise, I came to realize just how much of a blessing life is. When I was 18 months old, I had a severe head injury. In all reality, I am very blessed to be alive. I have no memory of the what went on during the time of injury. Laying there on that mat doing the breathing exercise, I experienced feelings of what it meant to fight for life itself and just how truly blessed I am.
I have lived most of my life in self-pity. The breathing exercises helped me realize just how much opportunity there is out in the world and how much I have to be grateful for.
I had a very rough second night out. I wound up just breaking down in the club. The instructors showed tremendous caring and support. A couple of the instructors accompanied me outside and helped me regain my composure by talking through how I had set such unrealistic expectations of myself and there was NO way in hell that I was going to reach my expectations. They helped me realize the reality of the situation, which was: we were in the meat packing district at 12:30 am and all the girls (and guys) were drunk. So, I should not take the rejections so damn personal.
After another recap the next day, I realized how much I am fucking myself in all of life. I have set my expectations in all of life so fucking high that they are unrealistic. By doing this I get to fail all the time. I realized how much significance I find from doing this. I need to let go and just BE. There is no good or bad, there just IS.
One of the evenings during the middle of the program, we did an exercise that had us face our ability to let go. The goal was to get out of our head, let go of conquest and just surrender into our body. This was particularly challenging for me. I was full of conquest. Finally, after several tries and with the instructors caring and guidance, I was able to surrender for a few seconds. It felt great to actually experience the surrender, even if for a second or two.
We did another mental/physical/emotional exercises during another night in the middle of the program. It was a form of meditation. During this exercise. I was able to just release and let go and surrender to my body. I was shocked at the fact that even though my mind was saying “I am tired.”, my body just kept going.
I came to realize that everybody in this world has emotional baggage that is holding us back. My relationship with my father
has been stressed for a LONG time. I have held a lot against him over the course of my life. During the bootcamp I was guided through an exercise that allowed me to vocally express all my anger and rage towards my dad. As I came to realize, on the other side of the anger, there is love. This exercise also guided me through the thoughts and emotions of vocally expressing the love and asking for forgiveness and saying “Thank you”.
During this whole exercise, I became aware of how much my anger and rage was just hurting my relationship with my father, as much as all the stuff that he has put me through emotionally (I realize now, I have just told myself this story of how much of an a-hole my dad is. In reality, he is really not as bad as I have made him out to be.).
When I started the bootcamp, I never would have thought that during the last few days I would be calling my father and having one of the most meaningful conversations I have ever had with him as a man. I called him in tears letting him know how much I cherished our relationship and how sorry I was for the hurt I had caused him by holding all this anger towards him. It was a beginning to a new relationship with him, which I am very grateful for.
This review would not be complete if I did not mention what I did learn in terms of outer game. I could write quite a bit of stuff about what I learned in terms of what to say to women. The following were my main takeaways for outer game stuff:
Different types of conversations: Normal, Fun, Sexual, Deep. I must open up all the different types of conversations and push the limits on these conversations.
All the different types of sub-communications. How the words that we use actually really do not matter. It is more about our sub-communications and being masculine and bold.
In conclusion, this was a life changing experience and I would do it again in a heartbeat. I am extremely grateful to all the instructors and also to the other students.